Transformers 2 or The Fallen Falls Down

I wanted this movie to be good.

I loved the first one. I bought a ticket to the sequel to see giant robots beat the snot out of each other. In that one respect the movie delivers, and delivers well. I found out though, as the movie drug on, that I wanted more than just action. It is there that Revenge fails, and fails miserably.

One contrivance after another leads us along a poorly constructed excuse for a 'plot'. This plot's only purpose it seems is to generate another action shot. I know giant robots that can transform into vehicles are not believable, but at least give me something to suspend my disbelief from. Other movies lately have down this quite well: Star Trek, both of the Nolen Batman movies, Spiderman 1&2, and a few others.

Visually this movie is stunning. As with the first Transformers, the robots were so ‘lifelike’ that there was never a moment that looked wrong. Seeing Optimus take on three decepticons at once with blade-arms was amazing. The movie could have ended there, and may have even saved itself.

There were other nitpicks that really ended up bugging me. Like, when Optimus transforms early in the film it takes about twenty or thirty seconds, but ever after, transformations take so little time as to seem instantaneous. Why do the transformers have such horrible lines? Why do they speak with horrible accents?

In the end, this movie succumbed to the sequel stumble that has tripped up so many other potentially great franchises. I couldn’t help but think of Pirates 2 or Matrix Reloaded almost the entire time the movie was playing.